Freedom is always bartered at a price: money, blood, and sacrifice. For whatever reasons born of our need to be free, it is understood that when humanity is stricken by the chains of bondage and oppressed beyond the threshold of sufferance, the collective body will cease to evolve. Incontrovertibly, society as we know it will regress from light into gradations of grey and eventually darkness. But when one rises to challenge an oppressor many times his magnitude, he stands in the light of humanity and barters for freedom with his life–to liberate humanity from the enslavement of the mind and body. Thus, it is our duty to bring light into the shadowy prisons that silence those who stood and have fallen to the opposition. We become the substitute of their voice, the surrogate of their strength, and the soul of their struggle; for without, our struggles will resolve into an exercise of futility.
Philosophy has always been an essential part of who I am, and its significance in my life profoundly shapes the mold of consciousness through which all of my experiences are filtered. I think in terms of universal paradigms. This is analogous to the properties of elasticity. Let’s briefly examine its characteristics and tie its relevance to the definition of my personal attributes.
Elasticity exhibits three properties:
perviousness, resilience, and metamorphism.
Perviousness is a state of being receptive and penetrable. An elastic band forms a loop and it is through this opening that new ideas take passage.
Resilience is the ability to sustain original integrity after distress or deformation. This is a corollary of adaptation and tolerance: an elastic band can extend itself to conform to other objects and is eager to accept change.
Metamorphism is complimentary to resilience wherein if the latter is a transitory utility, then the former becomes an enduring catalyst. They both are executors of change but one is more extemporaneously effective, while the other is an evolution that produces residual impressions: an elastic band takes on new forms through rigorous effort.
Every man is bound by an inescapable fate from the moment of his birth; but, this is not to diminish his hopes and dreams. In this state of bondage, every man also shares a destinyâ€”one that defines his humanity and empowers him to impart upon the material world an immortal legacy: an essence that transcends his mortal breath.
As one in this brotherhood of man, I cannot help but accept the irresistible fate and be utterly compelled with a sense of purpose to predicate that I am willing to give all that is within my mortal faculties to discover this destiny, and further manifest its tangibility in the collective world; to advance the understanding of our role in the vastness of the universeâ€”pressing against the threshold of personal limits, learning as I falter along the path of experience, and breaking through to higher ground. This has been and continues to be my progressive contribution to society.
In order to evolve, I must subject myself to failures and dedicate myself in my successes. It is my belief that only in our deepest failures will we find the utmost inspiration to conquer what seems unconquerable, develop a spiritual resilience to tread on through murky waters knowing that the shore can and will be reached, and further, that it will bridge the flux between dreams and the preeminent reality.
I’ve always been fascinated with virtual worlds and this predisposition manifested in me an enduring infatuation with a world that I could somehow, mysteriously, exercise a degree of control; and further, I was determined to unravel the heart of its mystery. Acting is creating a simulacrum of reality; it is surrendering the solidified self to become a nimble shape-shifter. An actor hollows himself to be a universal container of substance; at once, to produce an effect, be effective, without being affected. The eagerness of youth gravitates toward role models to align its aspirations; my ally, is a malleable sense of conscience that lends me the ability to be essentially whatever I wanted, provided that I have the fortitude to endure the opposing forces, and the focus to be a self-catalyst for change. This self-induced invocation of change parallels the art of acting because when the actor assumes a role, the character consumes him for the duration. After the role expires, a residual imprint of the character remains, and it becomes to him an asset at his disposal.
What’s the difference between a ‘crazy’ person and a ‘normal’? The former is incomprehensibly ignorant of the fact while the latter matter of factually commits incomprehensible crazy acts in spite of cognizance; neither, can truly know each other’s condition. Further, one is normally crazy and the other acts crazily normal to attest his sanity. As for me, I am crazily normal under circumstances where normal people would be normally crazy, and I’m normally crazy, borderline neurotic, about the craziest normal things where normal folks would just be in their element. Does this make me crazy or normal? That’s right! Normalâ€¦because I’m fully aware that I’m normally crazy. So much so, in fact, that I simply tell these voices in my head that provoke me to do the normally craziest things to just all piss-off and leave me alone. Sheash, haven’t these crazy voices nothing better to do than to pester normal people?
There have been times when certain experiences elevate my being to an inspired state, whether the stimulus were in words, visuals, or a combination of sensory perceptions, I can feel a physical reaction that originates from the crown and descends internally through my body to the area above the solar plexus, expanding horizontally to fill my face, arms, and hands with an electrically-charged tingling sensation in its descent which causes my to shudder as if exposed to cold weather. Perhaps the best description of this condition can be defined as a “spiritual orgasm.”
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been under a crisis of faith though, ultimately, I think this is conducive to my infinitely inquisitive nature. It isn’t that I am faithless, but rather I’m more invested in possibility. I am not comfortable under the constraints of any one religion and as such I extract the value from each and assimilate its truths into a general sense of awareness that enlightens my perception of the world and instills me with a lesser degree of bias in how the construct of the reality around me is conceived. I am simultaneously representative of the Mulder and Scully psyche. That is, “I want to believe,” but “is it rational?” Enter faith, which is an invisible bridge that connects the immediate reality and another intangible realm: magic, manna, aether, spirits, extra-terrestrials, gods, demons, guardians, angels, dragons, sprites, unicorns, magnetism, gravity, and the Divine. To varying degrees we can visualize these intangibles, believe them to exist, and by the virtue of believe, perhaps could manifest them into the collective reality if the esoteric universal mechanics are accessible to us, as it were. And so, the only points of division are along the degrees to which our imagination is able to stretch. Being that we are unique, the diversity of our capacities and predispositions are limitless, and if only we can imagine a world unlike our own and make belief that this is another lens peering into the universal perspective, then we may begin to harmonize our own visions with that of the collective. One needs not lose religion in order to be gain it in proper but rather a gentler approach would be to reconcile the construct of our own “house”, in which we are comfortable, and visually deconstruct the artifice into its most simple building blocks, then we can see at the base of every house of worship is a foundation that rests on one single earth. The only castles floating in the skies are those supported on our own shoulders held in place by lofty ideas stemming from a false sense of superiority, and still, at the very base, our feet are firmly planted in root of the earth. So if you ask me what my religion is/was, I will respond, “my fidelity rests in the providence of possibility.”
Through the course of life, Iâ€™ve observed, scrutinized, and have concluded, thus far, the following to be the most essential and core motivation of existence. I believe these to be the innate directives of all things and every action can be traced to these ends. They mark the source of lifeâ€™s inspiration and the destination from which springs transcendence. They are categorically labeled as “Existential Imperatives”:
experience | endure | evolve
Synesthesia: [sensation produced at a point other than or remote from the point of stimulation, as of a color from hearing a certain sound]
Often while lying in bed, in the silence, with my eyes closed, and I hear the slightest of noises, simultaneously, I sense a jolt of electrical current run through the length of my body in the instant and a fantastical array of shapes and colors dance in my mind as seen through the lids of my eyes acting as screens to this cosmic show.
I am broken. The things I do, I love, with passion, and that I love is a salve that mends my spirit. And once again, I am whole, with love, in love, and all in the name of love. But is it for the love or lust of life that drives me? Perhaps they are two poles of the same sphere?
I behold the male and female forms equally as beautiful. Their reunion, is divinity.
I am a slave to conscience; let it be known that no man is more tortured by it.
I’m a Fire-Water Elemental or “The Crimson Sea.” Most of the time, like a placid lake, I’m tranquil and at peace; or when in motion easy-flowing as a river sliding effortlessly downstream. But under certain circumstances when the Fire fuses with the Water, the energy released can be quite catastrophic for those within vicinity. Further, I’m Libra, which is an Air sign; thus it follows that when the Water is heated beyond its liquid threshold, a transformation into steam takes form and eventually condenses into Air- sailing smoothly as a gentle breeze. In any form, Water, Fire, or Air, there’s a destructive potentiality especially when catalyzed by the volatility of Fire. However, if this force is channeled through a creative conduit, it can be a powerful propeller for revolutionary transformation. In the same respect, I think the same force nests within us all, and while there’s a diverse spectrum manifested, it serves us to remark that we can shape our destinies in varying degrees based on our own level commitment, diligence and patience to endure the trials on the journey. “spirit is life, mind is builder, physical manifests.”
I love eye-gazing, doesn’t matter if the subject is male or female, feline or canine, or whatever the variety. For me it’s like going skinny dipping in the bloody abyss of the entity’s soul.